Who Needs Sleep?(Well You're Never Gonna Get It)

Well, the last few weeks have been emotionally very draining for me. Besides personal issues that are somewhat on-going, I can't sleep well most nights, so I'm up. Fortunately I can try and catnap for 10-20 minutes during the day. My DS is good about playing by himself so mommy can catch up on a little lost sleep. I've been averaging 3-4 hours of sleep with a 20 minute nap in the afternoons. No wonder I'm so crabby!
What DIDN'T help my mood any was to read a blog written by a Korean adoptee (who I shall refer to as "Angry Korean Adoptee" or "AKA" for short If you insist on labels, lady!), called "Twice the Rice". I read the entire blog and lost some serious sleep for a few days over what she said. I was very very angry and scared. AKA was very condescending, racist and mean with her comments about adoptive parents. She obviously has issues with being adopted and living in a small(?) mid-west city with no "minorities" growing up.(God, I hate that word! People aren't "minorities" they're just people!). She accused a-parents of being shallow, racist, ethno-phobic & only interested in adopting because they want to dress up a "china doll". To say that she over-simplfied, marginalized and was racist herself would be an understatement. She spouts a bunch of racism she thinks is critism. She did find her birth Mom and siblings, BTW. AND has a relationship with them. AKA states that she loves her (white) a-parents very much, but I don't see a lot of love there. Her particular situation in Korea was bad, and I don't blame her for being angry, but, damn it, isn't that what therapy's for? At some point, for your own piece of mind, you need to come to terms with what happened when you were a child. She obviously has not. I was blubbering about it to the DH, and he said, "well, that just shows her immaturity." He's right!
Of course, some a-parents (BTW, "a-parents" means "adoptive parents"), on the boards got wind of this blog and just tore her a new one. She tried to do a lot of back-peddling, but I don't think she expected this backlash. She said, "it's MY blog".

Well, yeah, but it's on the INTERNET - FOR EVERYONE TO SEE AND COMMENT ON!

This does bring me to a point,(eventually). I started to freak out thinking that if this is the way our daughter is going to see her adoption/situation in life, why should we bother bringing her out of her native China and raise her in the US with a predominately white family? Is this really in the best interests of the child? Will she just hate us for bringing her here? Will she feel we're mocking Chinese culture when we try to connect her with anything Chinese? Will she feel connected to us as parents? Will she resent us because we don't look like her?

At what point does ANY child accept the situation given in early life and what they can they currently do to change it?

I feel it's unrealistic to think that our girl is not going to have any issues whatsoever about being adopted or being adopted into a white family, or attachment issues. Hopefully I won't screw up too often in my parenting. I'll do my best to listen, empathize (as much as that's possible), love and guide. We have many adoptive kids in our family & extended family, as well as different ethnicities. Growing up, we knew who was adopted or of a different race and it wasn't talked about much. It wasn't an embarassment, or a secret, it just didn't seem to be an issue. No one talked about cousin Emma "who was adopted from Korea". We just refered to her as "Emma". If any individual had issues, it must've stayed in that immediate family. To the best of my knowledge, no one wore the badge of"woe-is-me-I've-been-wronged-I-was-adopted-&/or-you-secretly
hate-me-because-I'm-not-white".
Of course, the "AKA" would say that because we didn't talk about it we were trying to supress/deny/insult/ignore the ethinicity or country of origin with the adoptee. If that adoptee doesn't bring up any issues does this mean they're secretly harboring resentment? Ready to go postal? Afraid? I hope love, respect & trust in each other and the universe will be enough to see everyone through.

Anyone can chose to believe whatever they want about themselves, but it's sad that AKA chooses anger, fear and mistrust & race-division to define herself.

One good thing to come out of this horrible blog? The "Angry Korean Adoptee" has recently gotten married. All I can say is I hope she isn't infertile and has to, gasp! ADOPT! Ha ha!
THAT'D BE SWEET! KARMA BABY!

Just checking - anyone catch the BNL song reference for my title? Anyone?