Travel Part 2 - Nanning & Baby Day!

We left Hong Kong on Sept. 21st, and took a short flight to Nanning. We had to go through customs again. Let me tell you, it's a pain in the rear. At all possible stops you get to stand in line, show your passport, airline tickets and fill out forms. Pack light people, pack light! You do not want to be dead tired, lugging 80 pounds of luggage through the airport lines. It's not pretty. After grabbing our baggage, we had to stand in the customs line and they decided to search my bags. Then some of us ladies had to use the facilities. One western toilet and the rest were squatty potties. Most of us opted to wait for the western toilet as we weren't feeling too brave yet. Bring your Kleenex as there isn't always paper. And wet wipes for your hands. As in Hong Kong, the weather was brutally hot and humid. We stayed at the Gaungxi Wharton Hotel. It's a beautiful structure. Surrounded by a big gorgeous park and river. The hotel itself was mostly very nice. The only thing bad was the mold in the showers' grout lines. The bathroom smelled moldy. There was not a ceiling fan, so I'm sure the room stays fairly steamy. The hotel supplied us with razors, shave cream, shampoo, tooth brush/paste, Q-tips, soap, hot pot, tea, hair dryer, Kleenex, and 2 bottles of water each day. I didn't need to bring half the toiletries that I did. The beds are rock-hard here. The Regal Kowloon's bed was relatively soft, but not anywhere else! I did check the mattress to see if there was plywood instead, but it was an actual mattress.
At first I wasn't too impressed with Nanning. It's a medium-sized city, lots of high-rises, shopping districts, apartments. Once we were able to venture out some, it's not bad. We did get a lot of looks. Both curious and nasty. We were given a necklace to wear that says we're here to adopt and where we're staying. I didn't get that the city was dangerous, just not as used to adoption foreigners as say, the White Swan is. Many people stared. I'll try and remember to post about our trip to Walmart & the nearby department store.

Our guide for this portion of the trip was Michael. He was very nice. He recommended the Chinese restaurant in the basement of the hotel called Shen Zhou Street Market. It's actually a casual/nice sit-down place. You order food by looking at the pictures of dishes on the walls. You tell or point to what you want to any one of the million servers there and it's ordered and brought to table as it's finished. There are a million things to try and it's all delicious! So so yummy. Thankfully so since we ended up eating there twice a day for 6 days. Even yummy Chinese gets old after a while. The breakfast buffet in the Western Restaurant wasn't great, but we managed to find good stuff to eat. I did skip the braised-whatever in pig's blood. Bao's are yummy as are the salted noodles. The Chinese version of Western food is funny, sometimes. We ordered a "banana split" to share one night, and it came with a banana (yay!), 3 scoops of strawberry ice cream, a bit of whipped cream with colored sprinkles. One of our travel mates got the same thing the night before and they got apples instead of bananas!

Monday morning we convened in a conference room to fill out more paperwork that would be used for our official adoption documents. We were surprised to get an updated picture and information about Jian Mei! As Michael was passing out this information, both DS and I as well as another family said, "wait, I don't think this is our baby". Turns out the pictures were taken the day before, so they were more updated then we'd previously seen. We received more detailed information about her sleeping/eating patterns, as well. We were told our daughter's nickname "mooey mooey" (I'm sure that's not how it's spelled, but it sounds like that!). We were all so nervous! Our time to get the babies was scheduled for 3:30, so everyone was anxiously awaiting that time. Everyone took turns ooh-ing and ah-ing over the newest baby pictures. I was glad we brought baby stuff, (diapers & bottles) since we didn't get to take a shopping trip until Wednesday.

At 3:00, everyone gathered in the lobby to go to the Lottery Hotel to get our children. Michael taught us a few Cantonese phrases to help soothe our babies. We went up to a conference room and waited. We had been told the order in which the babies would be presented. We were 6th out of 8, so we knew we wouldn't be first. They brought in the first few babies, and then it was a total blur after that. All I remember is seeing her come in, I have no idea who was holding her, I was totally focused on her. DH and I had agreed to have me hold her first. We were hoping she'd bond more with me in the beginning. I believe we do have the hand-off on video, but I haven't watched it yet. The rest of the room was filled with lots of happy parents, and lots of unhappy babies. Our little girl was handed to me and at first looked at me, but then looked away. I expected this. Poor baby looks scared in the pictures. All of the Gong girls were dressed in red or pink strawberry outfits. Very very cute! Jian Mei was holding the rattle we had sent in her care package, so I knew she had received it. DH came towards her and she cried and backed away. Michael said it might be because he's so tall, it surprised her. We sat down and I handed her to DH to hold. She was OK with him sitting down, and DS sat down next to her. She looked him in the eye immediately and smiled. Once the kids were with their parents, we entered into the "harmonious period". We officially had 24 hours to accept the child, and until the adoption was finalized. On the shuttle bus back to the hotel, Michael handed out the formula our daughters were used to, and the contents of the care package we had sent. We received back her rattles, blanket, camera and picture album. I don't think they used the blanket we sent. We were happy to get back the camera, though. Our daughter smiled and laughed on the bus. DH played a few games with her, and she does love to mimic everything we do! She laughed and clutched her rattle. We opened the care package and she grabbed onto the photo album and started going through the pictures. I think someone had showed her the album and explained the pictures. She held onto that for deal life - rattle in one hand, pictures in the other.

When we got back to the hotel, we set her on the bed and stared at her. She stared back, then started to cry. Not just slight tears, but big, loud, sobs and wails. I think she was starting to realize she wasn't going back to the foster family, or to the orphanage. She kept saying "Ma ma, ma ma" and looking around. When she'd see us instead, she'd burst into tears. Poor baby. It's very hard watching your child cry and know you can't be the one to comfort her yet. It was still hot as the dickens, so I tried to take off the little blue plastic shoes that she had on. They looked uncomfortable and I don't think she was used to wearing them. She sqawked so hard, I left them on. We took turns looking at each other, and between bouts of crying, brought out the Cheerios. They were a life-saver. She was willing to eat them from my hand, eventhough she wanted to feed herself. I know it's important for bonding, so I insisted on feeding her by hand. Her paperwork said she had a bottle in the morning and at night, and had congee at other times. It didn't mention other food, but I was glad to be able to bottle-feed her as well. Another good bonding opportunity. We looked her over as best as possible without removing her clothes. She looked healthy and well-nourished. Just a few small bug-bites, but nothing infected. She has 7 teeth, and can chew fairly well. We fed her some congee, and she didn't have issues with using a spoon. Once bed-time arrived, we weren't quite sure whether or not to try the crib, or put her in bed with us. The beds were too small, so we tried the crib. Our agency suggested not trying to change her clothes just yet. Too much of a security issue this soon. So, we changed her diaper, and DH set her on his chest to see if he could comfort her enough to go to sleep. Once asleep, we put her in her crib with her toys and pictures. She slept through the night, but cried when she woke up and saw us with her the next morning. She loved DS from moment one, so she would always give him a smile. From that point on, she had a preference for daddy holding her, and tended to shy away from me. Again, this is normal, but it's hard to know I can't do anything to help comfort her. Throughout the first full day with her, she would cry off and on.

Tuesday we went back to the Lottery hotel to officially accept her and have our interview with the adoption officials. We were asked a series of questions that we've answered before on the home study paperwork such as "why do you want to adopt from China", and asked us if we would love and take care of her, and educate her. These were asked in a rather stern tone, but I believe they were just a formality at this point. She started getting a bit fussy during this process & the orphanage director who was in the room tried to comfort her. He called her Mei Mei. She seemed to calm down after that. From that point on, we called her Mei Mei, and not "mooie mooie". She never responded to that name anyway. At this point, we were not using her new name, just trying to make her transition easier.
Quite the surprise, we received some gifts back from the orphanage. A small "love ball" used by the area locals, a photo album with pictures of our daughter, some certificate in Chinese, and a copy of her finding ad, (which wasn't translated). We handed over our gifts to the orphanage and nannies, and we were done.
During meal times we tried to keep her on mostly Chinese food. Don't want to upset her tummy by introducing anything other than Cheerios. She loves noodles! Once she got a taste of watermelon, noodles and egg, she wanted nothing to do with congee - even flavored congee. She stopped wanting that within 2 days. And, at 16 months, I didn't blame her. She's perfectly ready for other things. She ate like a bottomless pit most days. Lots of noodles. Her paperwork said she likes the occasional bottle with water during the day, but I could never get her to take water from the bottle. She would try and drink it from directly from the water bottle though.
A note about the restaurants here - they generally don't offer napkins. I don't know what the average Chinese person does about that, but they will offer them to foreigners. Small small ones. Some places charge a small fee for them (the Shen Zhou does). The hotel restaurants all had cloth napkins. They also don't have ice. The only place we found ice was McDonalds. I was never so happy to eat there!
The first few days were definitely hard for everyone. One family especially had a hard time. Their daughter had a bad cold and a fever from the get-go, and was always crying and arching her back to get down or away from the parents. The Mom was always telling us, "gee, you have such a happy baby", and I could tell she was not feeling too good about her baby's health or I'm assuming trouble with starting the bonding process. I told her that it probably would take longer with since her child was sick. About 5 or so days into the adoption, the child seemed to get better and turn the corner. She was more accepting and calmer, much to her parent's relief.
Otherwise, we'd walk the halls and hear the other babies crying just as ours did. Sometimes Jian Mei would hear them and start crying herself.
On Tuesday we went to Walmart and the local department store (where shoe quality was better, our guide told us). Since all of us had toddlers, most of us went to the department store to shop for shoes. Now, shopping there is a kick. The store looks just like your average Macy's or whatever, in the U.S. The only difference was there are a lot of sales people, just waiting to help. We found the shoes and man, there are a TON!! And they are all cute! After pointing at our daughter's feet shod in socks only, we had 2 nice ladies help us find shoes, and I was able to sweet-talk Daddy into 2 pair of shoes for the little lady. Now, to buy the shoes, you go to a central location on the floor and hand them the slip of paper with the items you're purchasing. You pay, get another receipt of some sort and then take that back to the department to pick up the items. Seems a bit redundant, but it worked eventually. I'm glad we had a head's-up about this before hand, or I would not have had a clue what to do. Our guide didn't mention this process, and I hope others didn't have a problem with it. The sales people don't speak English, as don't most who you meet there in Nanning. While waiting to pay, we had our first "Chinese Grandma" come up and try to talk with us. She gave us the thumb's up sign and said, (I think), "lucky baby" over and over. That was nice. We then braved crossing the street to Walmart. This is one of those "super Walmarts", but it really bears no resembelence to the Walmarts here. Now, I generally hate Walmart, but we needed more baby stuff, so I was game. It was located a few stories up in a building with other shops. There were at least 2 levels. To take your shopping cart up to the next level, you just wheel it up to a flat escalator and the wheel automatically lock so the cart doesn't roll back. The food they had there! All sorts of weird items we never see, even in specialty markets. The strange seafood (which smelled horrid). Also, I need to mention for those diet soda addicts who might be travelling soon, diet soda is not the easiest thing to find. They have "Coke light" which I'm not sure what's in it, but I was desperate. No ice. I love ice! The Walmart didn't have diet soda of any kind, and they don't sell in six-packs, so I bought a litre of Pepsi. Pepsi isn't always easy to find, either. Next up, find the formula baby is on - a Nestle brand of some kind (thankfully not the Sanlu brand!). I turn down the baby-food isle, and there are literally 8 sales people waiting to help you with formula. I have no idea whether or not breast-feeding is popular there in the cities, but they sure push the formula. They didn't have the right brand, but I bought a few boxes of a similar product, just in case.
We got a bunch of bulk snacks (wrapped) that are weighed and priced by item type. Found some yummy crackers and candy this way. A fun way to sample Chinese products. I bought some children's books, a suitcase for soveniers, and a few DVD's for kids. At this point, we hadn't called my parents yet to tell them we had the baby. The phone card we bought in Hong Kong didn't really work in Nanning, and our guide seemed reluctant to get us a phone card. We finally figured out how to get on the computer at the business center in the hotel, (15 yuan per 1/2 hour - cheap!), and I was able to send a quick email. My Mom, of course, was freaked out at not hearing from us since Hong Kong, and made the mistake of calling DH's parents to see if they'd heard from us. DH's parents apparently got dates or timing confused and so my Mom thought our trip was delayed. Thank goodness she didn't hear about the typhoon. By the time it came our way, it was just a tropical storm. After I had given up on our guide to get us a phone card, I finally broke down and just called her from our cel phone. I'm sure the cost will be insane, but I know she was very relieved to hear from me.

Thursday the tropical storm hit and our guide did not want to go out in it. I believe we missed seeing the provincial museum and possibly a temple. This really bummed me out since I would have loved to see the museum as our daughter is probably part of the Zhoung minority from the Guangxi region. On Friday, we had a choice of seeing the museum, the zoo or some other park area. I was bummed when everyone picked the zoo. I could guess I'd see the animals in small, broken pens, and I was mostly right. We saw an animal show with dancing bears (this was really sad to watch), acrobats, and a snake. We walked around some - there is a beautiful park in the middle of the zoo, so that was pleasant to look at. Then we saw the seal and dolphin show. Sad, just sad. Reminded me of Sea World from the 60's as far as the types of enclosures the animals had . Weird, but they had the tigers in small small cages, yet the lop-eared bunnies roamed in a very large enclosure. We did have a nice moment on the way into the zoo. A family crowd had gathered outside the gates to celebrate something, and one of the children had lost his balloon up in the trees. They called DH over to help get the ballon since he was by far, the tallest around. He couldn't quite reach it, so he had DS get up on his shoulder and DS was able to reach the balloon for the child. Lots of cheering and clapping. DS was embarrased, but he did well.

Later that day we braved an outing by ourselves since we had heard the type of formula we needed was at the RenRenLe grocery store. In normal weather, I would say it's an easy 3 city-block walk - not a problem. Too hot, so we took a cab. Only 7 yuan (about 1 dollar). We had a paper with some Cantonese translations on it, so the cab knew where to take us. Not too scary a ride this time. We ate lunch at the KFC there. They see us walk up to the counter, and immediately pull out the idiot/picture menu (which I was grateful for). We ended up ordering very spicy chicken wings, a fish sandwhich, and a kid's meal. I was hoping for mashed potatoes and gravy, but got a side of a corn dish with cucumbers and red peppers. Actually not that bad. Probably much better for you than the mashed potato with gravy. The shopping center was only about 3 longish city blocks from the hotel, so we decided to walk back instead of risking our life crossing the street for a cab. Plus, with all the good food we'd been eating, we really needed the walk! We got many many stares, some rude? comments. I think it might have had more to do with the fact that DH was carrying baby girl in a Baby Bjorn instead of me holding her. I think? At the hotel, DH got into the elevator with her and a man with friends gets in as well. He made some comment to his friends and they laughed. He then pointed at DH then at baby and grunted. All laughed. DH held his tongue. I don't mean to suggest that the locals are all hostel, most are just curious and to stare there is not considered rude. It does feel a bit uncomfortable having so many eyes on you. I was glad to be moving onto Guangzhou where I knew they'd be used to seeing white people with Chinese babies.

All in all, our guide didn't encourage or discourage us going out on our own. He gave us a short list of stores to go to with Chinese translations for commonly needed items and directions for cabbies. In general, the traffic is scary! And they really do drive all over, cut each other off, and just GO. Most of the traffic signals are ignored, but some are followed. I never did find a pattern to this. No one seems to have a problem being cut off. No road rage that I've seen. You want to be careful crossing the streets since they don't really have any right-of-way for pedestrians that I could see.